April 2021 begins with markers of spring and climate-change induced weather calamities. It is a month filled with diverse reminders of death and new life, hope and horror, darkness and light. North America is facing the reckoning of the murder trial in the killing of George Floyd, the impacts of mass murders in Atlanta and Boulder, and violence in quiet communities in Canada; humanitarian crises and atrocities unfold in Ethiopia, Myanmar faces death and destruction, and the list goes on and on. Our world, like the EFT community is diverse, spanning many continents, with many racial, ethnic and cultural differences. Humanity has many … [Read more...]
Learning EFT from Life: Empathic Reflection of the Present Process
I am often asked by trainees and students how long I have been practicing Dr. Sue Johnson’s Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). I could say I began to integrate elements of EFT with my first Person Centered paper in 1976; however, learning a model of therapy – what Carl Rogers called a way of being – it is more accurate to say I am engaged in a lifelong practice of learning. My journey of learning EFT began 66 years ago when I was born into a socially conscious, nature-loving, book-revering, Canadian dairy farm family! I spent my childhood from the age of six bonding and attuning with my closest sibling – a sweet non-verbal brother with … [Read more...]
Valentine’s Day: A day of love? Time to think differently.
Let’s broaden the perspective on love beyond romantic love! Emotionally Focused Individual Therapy is a process of love as much as is couple and family therapy. In EFIT we are not working to repair the tattered bond of one specific romantic relationship; rather, we are working with one individual to identify the patterns that shape their world and to reshape those patterns by drawing from the emotional energies embedded in their world. We all need another: Love, as defined by attachment theory is an accessible, responsive, secure bond. Sue Johnson suggests the acronym ARE (accessible, responsive, and engaged) represents the … [Read more...]
February is a time for both love and validating righteous anger: Thoughts on How Love Can Revolutionize Therapy and Our Racist Society
"What’s love got to do with it?" Is love just a second-hand emotion, as Tina Turner sings? “Who needs a heart when a heart can be broken?” Where is love in a society exploding with white privilege, horrific racial injustices, cultural inequities, and a pandemic disproportionately effecting people of color? Where does love fit into individual therapy with people whose distress is met with no loving relationships for comfort or support? How can love revolutionize our therapy and our racist society? Love, defined as safe and secure bonds, is the north star for therapists. “Love is not only an end for therapy; it is also the means by which … [Read more...]
A Blog for Therapists: Learning How to Be Leaders for Compassionate Change
As we enter 2021 – in a world in illness and chaos, I am committing to write a monthly blog for therapists. I begin this year with a call to renew our sense of purpose as therapists and educators. I am inspired by the thoughts of my mentor, Dr. Sue Johnson. Her recent acknowledgement that the word educate comes from the Latin educere, meaning to “lead out,” highlights the role and responsibility I have as an educator and a therapist to be a force for change in the world. As I embark on a new year of seeking to improve my EFT therapy and training, I want to challenge myself and all of you to renew your sense of purpose as leaders for … [Read more...]