(This blog post ends with a UNCG sponsored public event in honor of Martin Luther King, so please read to the bottom!)
My day began with my son, who lives with autism, reading me a quote from St. Francis of Assisi entitled “Stages”:
Start by doing what’s necessary; then do what’s possible; and before you know it, you will be doing the impossible.
What a good reminder this is as we face a new year with a world dominated by all the uncertainties of COVID, the growing efforts to build a better future in a world dominated by systemic racism and oppression, and a climate crisis!
There are a few contexts for which I personally draw encouragement from this quote.
On a very personal level, my brother, a recent stem cell transplant recipient who is now hospitalized with COVID pneumonia, texted me to say: “As long as I do relaxing deep breathing, I can keep oxygen at acceptable levels. If I panic then my oxygen levels crash…” His words combine with the above quote to remind me of the power of breathing, living, practicing, slowly and mindfully.
Start by doing what’s necessary; then do what’s possible; and before you know it, you will be doing the impossible.
As I begin to revise my 2018 book Stepping into Emotionally Foucsed Couple Therapy to more specifically highlight three new dimensions, I can easily become overwhelmed. This quote calms me. I want to offer my readers something they value even more than the first edition and a series of EFT workouts that will help encourage and strengthen your practice.
Let me know what you hope, please.
The 2018 book was a primer on Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy, and I have begun to revise it to include the following three dimensions:
- to include efforts at racial and cultural humility
- to integrate emotionally focused individual therapy and couple therapy throughout the book, instead of isolating EFIT to one chapter
- and to do all this while conveying the new, more parsimonious style for therapists to learn the model of EFT. Therapists interventions are combined into 5 basic moves, throughout all the steps and changes of client change. Therapists are finding this a more simple, fluid way to learn Sue Johnson’s amazingly powerful model for clients to shift the safety and security of their emotional and relational worlds!
Start by doing what’s necessary; then do what’s possible; and before you know it, you will be doing the impossible.
I am also calmed by these words as they relate to the Carolina Center for EFT’s efforts to expand our diversity. Each one of us involved in the Center seeks to increase our cultural humility and grow our awareness of the impact of racism, discrimination, and exclusion.
We ask ourselves, “What implicit biases do I hold? How may I be participating in negative racial and socio-cultural priming? How many socio cultural privileges may I be taking for granted without seeing how my locations of advantage are a burden on someone else?” Little by little we are taking steps…. hoping to do what is necessary and possible – and eventually what seems impossible.
I wanted to end this blog post by highlighting what’s coming up for Carolina EFT:
February 19
The Carolina Center for EFT is sponsoring an EFT in Action, featuring a multiracial couple.
March 4 and 5
Please join the International Conference on Cultural Lens in Therapy, featuring many international EFT Speakers. Check out promotional video.
October 2022
Dr. Mary Hinson and Tanisha James are again offering their popular Multi-cultural Faux Pas in EFT. Don’t miss this great opportunity to join with us in exploring our own implicit biases and learn from Mary and Tanisha about creating a more inclusive EFT practice!
Recommended!
- Please read Dr. Paul Guillory’s newly released book Emotionally Focused Therapy with African American Couples: Love Heals! This unique clinical volume is essential reading for therapists seeking to provide effective couple therapy to African American clients! Guillory offers a compelling challenge and illustrates a powerful path forward. The challenge is to become culturally humble by learning about the bonds of African American love in hostile environments. The path forward is to integrate a cultural lens into the empirically validated Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) model.
- Also please consider attending the UNCG sponsored public event in honor of Martin Luther King below (the link will take you directly to the ZOOM meeting).
AADS Conversations with the Community
Barbara Heller says
Lorrie, what I am really loving in the EFIT Primer from Sue and Leanne (which I am reading right now) is the transcripts of their work with clients (many of whom I have seen them working with in trainings). I can hear their voices as I read through the transcripts and find it orienting, soothing, motivating…
So what I hope for in your new book is plenty of these real examples with real clients’ transcripts.
I love the idea of the changes you are already bringing into the book and really look forward to being able to immerse myself in your voice as you work with your clients!