Dr. Sue Johnson, the legendary leader in transforming the field of couple, family, and individual psychotherapy with the transforming power of emotion and interpersonal dialogue, tragically passed away April 23, 2024, at the end of a courageous journey with cancer. It has been wonderful to read the messages of support and comfort as we grieve our great loss together. Even nearly a month on, this loss is deeply felt. I wrote a letter to Sue in tribute. Dear Sue, I’m writing this letter to you and to everyone whose lives you have changed. You taught us how to hold each other tight. You taught us that love sense is the axis of the world – … [Read more...]
A New Year’s Greeting to Open 2023
Gazing out a Canadian window into the woods, white with fuzzy hoar frost coating every branch and twig in a magical grey-white land, I have a choice. I can tune into this cold and dreary darkness or into its magical beauty. I actually choose both! I attune to the cold, unknown greyness and to its magical, mysterious beauty. Attuning to the dualities of our world is what helps to give us emotional balance and resilience. Since beginning to use the acronym EFIT for Emotionally Focused Individual Therapy about six years ago, I have grown to appreciate emotional fitness as an apt metaphor of what we are helping our clients - individuals, … [Read more...]
For October’s post: An Attachment Injury EFT “Nugget”
I love writing about EFT and AIRM, but for October I decided to make a video in lieu of a written blog post. In this 7-minute video, I'll be talking about working with a couple in distress after an attachment injury. Please enjoy and share! … [Read more...]
Valentine’s Day: A day of love? Time to think differently.
Let’s broaden the perspective on love beyond romantic love! Emotionally Focused Individual Therapy is a process of love as much as is couple and family therapy. In EFIT we are not working to repair the tattered bond of one specific romantic relationship; rather, we are working with one individual to identify the patterns that shape their world and to reshape those patterns by drawing from the emotional energies embedded in their world. We all need another: Love, as defined by attachment theory is an accessible, responsive, secure bond. Sue Johnson suggests the acronym ARE (accessible, responsive, and engaged) represents the … [Read more...]
My New Year’s Wishes to Each of You
Several messages of love have touched and inspired me in 2020 – a year of grief and legitimate outrage. The shocking violence towards Black and brown people, while not new, has shone the spotlight on love and resilience in the face of systemic racism and marginalization and inspired me towards love and cultural humility. My hope for you is that you receive and share this love during this upcoming year. “We need the eyes of others to form and hold ourselves together,” writes Daniel Stern in The Present Moment in Psychotherapy and Everyday Life (2004). Attachment theory holds that we are all born expecting loving to hold us – and that this … [Read more...]